Short one.or not;;;;;;;;

Yeah I had like this crazy sweet idea for a blog, but I just dont feel motivated to get it done. It was gonna be amazingly sweet, with facts from the world and the bible and comparing and contrasting, and forseeing, and stuff that would blow your mind, but i just can get motivated. I know its sad. And a lot of things are, like the fact that im effing broke, like 200% broke. My temporary tag expired yesterday, i have like a few quarters, a half tank of gas, and i have a lot of things to pay for.
Its already the 8th, at least tomorrow it will be, and ive got the phone bill, and the license plate to pay for. WEDNESDAY!!! How will i survive til Wednesday? Ill put the situation in God's hands, and have faith, this will sure be a true test of my faith. He's got the power to help me pull through, and i believe that 100%. I'm still going to drive to school 2morrow, even with the expired plate, im gonna park so it cant be seen from the street.
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I started writing this thinking it was gonna be short, but no i feel like writing write now.
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This weekend was semi-cool, didnt seem to me as cool as the usual, but it was god enough. I was able to get Destiny to come to WoRd, which was sweet, and the McCallums -Kyle were in Michigan, so i had to find somewere else to stay (Mikes). Jeff was in columbus, and Anele and her family were gone too, I have no idea where they were. Its weird how just one weekend can make you realize how much you become attatched to the people you love. I felt sad, not being able to see Keith and Dar, Sean, Jeff, and Anele. Whenever even one of my closer brothers or sisters is gone i feel this way. I kinda felt this when like I realized Anele wasnt in JHQ anymore, it was a sad day, I'd say were pretty good friends, and I enjoyed being able to hang out and chat a little, but damn i felt that one. This weekend though, was like 3x that.
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On the other hand though, I got to open up a little with Destiny, and the she opened up a tiny little bit with me, which was cool, and I was able to finally talk to Lindsey about everything that happened in the past and clear up all the confusion. I still want to talk to her about that stuff though, because it felt good finally getting that off my shoulders.
And for all you people out there who are really really crazy and want to know stuff about me, Destiny is a friend, not a girlfriend, shes really awesome, and we have similar backgrounds almost, its really cool talking to someone like that, we're not dating, and we're not even thinking about dating, at least im not, I guess if she reads this i'll find out what she was thinking. I just want all you guys to know that because, im sure some of you thought thats the way it is, and its not.
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I cant wait until thursday, I'm pretty sure its another class so everyone will be there, (all the people im missing right now, like keith, jeff, and anele) Is JHQ this Friday or.. no? We will see i guess!

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I have descipleship this wednesday, minus barker, i dont think hes in it anymore, but it will be back to the old way, which let me add i liked better, just because i could talk to joe more, and what not.

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I feel really sad right now. Like really, i do. And someone like me, who doesnt feel emotions (kidding) -doesnt show emotions a lot, I feel really sad, I really hate bedford, a lot, so much I could cry right now just thinking about how much i HATE bedford, its sucks, I'm the only person down here, im so alone, and I've got no one to talk to face to face. Its horrible, i dont know how much i can stand, I just want school to be over and goto college, i feel lonely these 2 days im away from everybody, I wish i lived with a brother (in christ) that I could talk to when i needed guidance, or give guidance too when they needed it, or pray with, or read the bible with, or a family, that would keep me motivated, make me want to do some reading, or my homework, i mean i do my homework, but never do I do it at times that I should, i mean look at me i waisted an hour writing this worthless blog, thats probably going to be read by like 2 people. I just used the word worthless, just thinking about that word, i feel worthless my self, gosh i sound depressed, im really not, im just sad and Ive got no one to talk to , Bedford sucks so badly right now its not even funny. A person like me you wouldnt picture crying, but i am, everyones gotta do it sometime, it feels good.

To my brothers and sister in christ who read this - my phone is always on, i enjoy speaking with each and every one of you, and if you could, take the time out of ur life(around 9 pm) to just give me a call on mondays and tuesdays, the days that i dont see any of my b&s's.

I dont mind being woken up either, i goto sleep around 10:45, but if you wanna call me at 12 go ahead, i dont mind, anything is fine with me.

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And i dont mean to sound depressed, and im really not, i just hate being away from the body, especially when i miss out on seing Keith and Dar, like man it hits me hard, i dont know if they know how much i love them, but i do a lot. So much its unexplainable

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On and ending note, ive got a mission from the lord, and its to save bedford, not completely, thats impossible, but to get some of the people from here saved and walking with the lord, its hard to find just one christian in bedford. And thats my mission, thats why i put up with this sh*t.

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-B